Hopelessly Devoted
by LadyCulebra
Summary: Toboe sees something he shouldn't have... YAOI


DISCLAIMER: Wolf's Rain, nor any of the characters are mine. I make no money from my writing. Lawyers: fuck off. 

WARNING: This fic includes slash/yaoi/shounen-ai. That means boi-on-boi. If you have a problem with this, please, do us all a favour and click the "back" button now. 

Hopelessly Devoted… 

  
  
Kiba and Tsume were always at one another's throats. They seemed to feed from one another; from the tension between them. They thrived upon dissension, and the constant bickering that made their blood boil had another effect; it made them feel alive. With the stress of searching for something that barely had a name, both Kiba and Tsume _needed_ the release their arguing afforded them. 

Toboe had never been in an actual pack before, but he was certain that members were not supposed to treat one another in such a way. In his mind, a pack had a distinct hierarchy that was never disputed. He recognized that they had a caste system and he was at the bottom of it, but it seemed as though Kiba and Tsume were always vying to be alpha.

Conflict bothered Toboe, and he always wondered how Hige could be so nonchalant when the other two wolves began to argue. It was even more worrisome when they went off by themselves to fight. They always returned by the next morning, separately, bearing random superficial wounds. Toboe always feared the night would come when one of them wouldn't return, dreading that it would be Tsume.

Tsume had been the first wolf Toboe had ever met, and because of that, the younger wolf felt a fierce loyalty to the older that transcended any pack hierarchy. Tsume had been his first protector aside from his "grandmother", and despite the black wolf's harsh demeanour, there was a strange sort of kindredship between them that Kiba and Hige were at a loss to understand. Neither could conceive of what the soft-spoken young wolf saw in his hardened, volatile counterpart.

Toboe squeezed his eyes shut and emitted a quiet whimper as the voices rose around him; over him. Kiba and Tsume hadn't even realized that Toboe was crouched between them, shuddering at their ferocity, when they'd faced off. Both their lips were pulled back to bear their teeth in vicious scowls, the hair on the backs of their necks bristling. Toboe's entire body shook with silent quivers, and though he knew what the two were shouting at one another, he heard nothing by infuriated snarls and the snapping of jaws. 

Then the sound was gone. Toboe looked up, confused, and yet, instinctively he knew what had happened. He watched as the figures of a white and a black wolf dashed into the moonlight and towards the forest nearby. The young wolf rose to his feet hesitantly, shaking himself to remove snow from his fur. He gazed in the direction the other two had gone.

He had hardly taken a step when Hige piped up. "I wouldn't, if I were you," he warned. The brown wolf was peering at him, one amber eye closed from where he lay curled up, not two feet away. "You're not gonna like what you find."

"I just can't take it anymore," Toboe whimpered, turning to run towards the forest as quickly as he could. Hige's tone had shaken him, though. What did he know that the youngest wolf did not? Was it really so bad?

Toboe ran through the woods quickly upon reaching them, his breath a quiet snuffle as he attempted to scent-track the other two. His nose wasn't as strong as Hige's nor as seasoned as Kiba's, yet the trail was fresh and he found them easily enough. He crouched down behind some shrubs to observe, though truly the other two wolves would not have noticed him if he had stood in plain view.

The two wolves were silent now except for a low, rolling growl; never a good sign. It was always in the calm stillness that the fighting began, and Toboe could almost taste the tension; it filled the small clearing, the air thick with static electricity.

Then, without any indication from either wolf, they both leapt forward, as though it had been choreographed. They met in a flurry of white and black fur, Tsume immediately seizing Kiba by the scruff of his neck and trying to throw him down into the submissive position. Kiba didn't budge; didn't bat an eyelash in protest or pain, simply wheeled around to take the black wolf's foreleg in his teeth, emitting a low warning growl.

Toboe was sickened by his own fascination with the scene; with the seemingly senseless brute violence. It was like the ultimate display of masculine dominance, and the young wolf was enthralled. He found it strange, however, that neither combatant emitted even the smallest whimper of pain. He wondered if it was simply for the fact that the adrenaline that was rushing through their veins was overpowering their senses, or if the gnashing teeth were just for show.

The young wolf blinked thoughtfully as he watched the two older wolves turn, neither relinquishing his grip though it made movement awkward. If the violence wasn't real, what was the point?

Toboe bit back a gasp as Kiba finally managed to drag Tsume's leg out from under him, the scarred wolf releasing his opponent as he was sent into a roll. Tsume hardly had gathered his feet beneath him before he struck back, leaping onto Kiba's back and seizing the back of his neck with a vicious growl. An answering snarl rumbled in the white wolf's chest as he turned his head to close his jaws around Tsume's throat.

The auburn wolf rose to his feet uncertainly, watching the scene with dawning horror. Though Tsume was clearly in the dominant position, Kiba held him at a disadvantage and could certainly kill the black wolf with very little effort. Toboe smelt blood and was about to dart forward to help his idol when he recognized the scent was not coming from Tsume, but from Kiba. He shifted his weight uneasily, not sure what to do.

Toboe's eyes widened as Kiba's eyes closed, though his jaws remained clamped at the black wolf's most sensitive flesh. He finally realized what was going on when Tsume's forelegs tightened around Kiba's body, the white wolf standing motionless as Tsume's pelvis began to rock against him.

The young wolf couldn't recognize the act for what it truly was: they were simultaneously dominating the other while submitting. All about power, and yet inherently sexual as all violence is wont to be. It was an acknowledgement that the conflict between them would never end. As he watched, he was unable to tear his eyes away; he was completely consumed with his irrational jealousy and hurt, neither of which he could effectively express.

He could hear their soft pants, intermingled with low growls; could smell the tangy scent of blood spilt in violent passion. His vision was a blurred, undulating sea of black and white, and he was no longer sure where one wolf ended and the other began.

Then, suddenly, Toboe's senses were flooded by a heavy musk scent, and as the other two wolves collapsed to the ground, he let out a pained, sorrowful howl, already running further into the forest. He didn't see Tsume's and Kiba's heads jerk up, both wolves startled and confused, Tsume looking guilty upon recognition of the youngest wolf's voice. Nor did Toboe hear Hige's soft sigh from a mile away. "I tried to warn him," he murmured quietly, before tucking his nose under his tail for sleep.

Toboe barreled through the woods, hardly able to avoid trees with his tear-blurred vision. He finally stopped when his snout collided with one of the thick trunks he hadn't seen. His momentum sent him into a somersault which he landed on his back. The impact stole his breath, and he curled into a ball where he landed, cradling his sore nose into his hip joint, sniffling pitifully. 

Tsume hesitated behind a tree, gazing up at the young wolf. Seeing him cowering in upon himself, shaking silently, made the scarred wolf's heart ache. He'd leapt to his feet instantly upon recognizing Toboe's cry, chasing after the auburn wolf without a word of explanation to Kiba. There'd been no need for it. He knew how the black wolf felt about his young companion, even if Tsume had never admitted it to anyone aside from himself.

He had no idea how to even approach the young wolf he'd wounded so badly. He'd never allowed himself to get close to anyone, and the prospect frightened him more than anything. There also existed the possibility of hurting Toboe more simply by the fact of his presence. He shifted uneasily, one large paw snapping a twig inadvertently.

Toboe looked up quickly, and when he recognized the dark form partially hidden by a tree, he scrambled to his feet, emitting a quiet yet hesitant growl. His eyes still glistened with moisture, but his gaze was steady, defiant, and fierce with self-righteous anger. Tsume adored him; he was trying so hard to be strong.

The black wolf closed his eyes with a sigh, and when he opened them a short, red-haired young stood before him. Toboe's arms were taut by his sides, his fists shook with rage, but his lower lip quivered with the effort to repress more tears. "Why?" he whispered, his voice cracking.

Tsume brushed a hand through short, white hair. He had his reasons, but none of them could hold up against the hurt look in Toboe's eyes. This situation was so strange for him; never had he even _wanted_ to get close to anyone, and yet he had undeniable feelings for the pup. He moved to step forward, but paused when Toboe stiffened. "I don't know," he murmured helplessly. Looking into those eyes, he lost all sense of reasoning.

It hadn't been about sex for Tsume, of that much he was certain. He couldn't bear relinquishing his will for Kiba's, and so, to settle his mind, he took the white wolf's body, even as he surrendered his control. Kiba seemed to sense this inner turmoil because, aside from the first few times, he had never fought it more than for show. None of this mattered to the black wolf though; not with the pained expression on Toboe's human face.

He faltered for something to say. _It didn't mean anything._ That wasn't true. It _meant_ something, though not in the same way that Toboe was important to Tsume. _I didn't mean for you to see that._ The truth, and yet Tsume knew it didn't explain anything; was likely to make the situation worse. He was at a complete loss. "I'm sorry."

Toboe's lip quivered, before his brave front crumbled and he sank to his knees, covering his face in his hands as tears began to flow in earnest. "I care about you, Tsume," he sniffled. "I don't understand why…but I would've done anything to make you happy."

Tsume bit his lip. He'd had no idea the youngest wolf had felt so strongly, thinking Toboe's behaviour the result of juvenile awe. He bridged the distance between them in seconds, sinking to his knees and wrapping his arms lightly around the red-haired youth. Toboe shuddered violently with the contact, but didn't pull away.

"I never meant to hurt you," Tsume murmured quietly. "Forgive me."

Toboe lifted his eyes to meet the pale yellow of the man holding him. "I have always been devoted to _you_ before Kiba or Hige; I'd follow you anywhere." His voice sounded so sad, so completely lost and hopeless.

A few tears gathered in Tsume's eyes, though he tried to blink away the tell-tale moisture. How could he have let this pup affect him so profoundly? "You are the only one I have allowed close enough to care about," he breathed, pressing a hesitant kiss, surprising in its gentleness, to Toboe's throat.

"W-what about Kiba?" came the whispered response.

Yellow eyes gazed unblinkingly into amber orbs that were wide with innocence, glimmering in the moonlight. "I only see you."

_Fin_

A/N: My first Wolf's Rain fic. Be gentle.


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